Hi Pastor Bob,
Good to see that your energy is flowing and that your running around doing lots of things. Always good to see the pastor has a bucket load of energy and trying to achieve all sorts of things.
I have been around for a bit now and have seen many pastors of your ilk. They work hard, do stuff and try their very very best. Eventually many seem to wear out, get tired, become impatient with their congregation or loose heart and leave the ministry and take up secular work. This last point is a real shame, ministry is such a high calling and should be regarded as such.
In my view the main reason these things happen is that you are far to busy doing things and trying to achieve stuff that has no kingdom bearing or relevance. The bible is quite specific in this area, it says, “…be still and know that I AM God…”. I feel that the over emphasis of God saying He is the I AM and God in the one breathe is of great importance. If we are constantly running around doing stuff we cut God out of the loop, we have no time for Him, classic 101 mistake. We need to spend time with God, not just sermon prep time or daily reading time, we need to spend time in His presence reflecting on His majesty and glory, reminding ourselves of who and what the God of creation is to us and who we are to Him. We need, especially as a leader, to spend copious time in prayer to discern His will, purpose for us and a multitude of other things. When we do this, God speaks to us in many different ways, through His word, the input of other people, His creation etc etc, I’m sure you know this though. When we discern Gods voice and are obedient to it, then only one thing is of great concern, doing Gods will well, with love and joy. Of course there will be inevitable struggles, without which, we would not grow or learn to trust God at all. Doing Gods will means we are working for God building His kingdom His way and all other things and stuff will pale into insignificance.
I feel that you need to remind yourself of these things and to take a breather, be still and seek God so that He may show you how to seek first His kingdom (always a bit challenging as we get His and our kingdoms mixed up quite often). When we do, you will find that just doing Gods will keep you busy enough and a lot less busy than you have been. There will be lots of God’s stuff to do that will be a lot easier than the stuff you’ve been doing. When we do Gods stuff there is far more life and success than the miserable failures that occur when we do our stuff.
God is so merciful and we should thank Him that He continually draws us back to Himself and keeps us on the straight and narrow path that leads to everlasting life, if we let Him. I would suggest at this point you take the time to rest in Gods presence, see what the Holy Spirit leads you to and how to Glorify Jesus in the work you are given to do. You will find it far more satisfying than just doing stuff.
As always, always seeking Him.
Your humble servant in His service.